What happened at Sandy Hook Elementary(SHE) was over the instant last victim took his/her last breath, but what we are left with now are ashes, lifeless bodies, lifelong grief and most importantly the lessons that can be learnt from this incident. First thing first, and I am not exaggerating (but I love to whine!) but the Muslims all over America were freaking out when they first heard the news about shooting at SHE, but the sigh of relief came when the media started identifying the suspect as a “gunman” and not a “terrorist”. Yes, just like the star of Bethlehem, this was sign enough! After the star of Bethlehem i.e. the clarification, Muslims in America who were more concerned about their own lives and the lives of their families, started showing their reaction and grief.{Whining ends here}
While expressing our pain and grief for the victims, we should not forget the social, psychological, mental, and medical reasons that result in such sad and painful events in the first place. Yes, the same “reasons” that are considered and discussed if and only if the suspect is different from the typical definition of a terrorist; Yes, yes! The same old definition –> Tall, dark and handsome!
[Tangent Time: BTW, unlike Mr. Lanza, two “terrorists” (some Qazi brothers) were arrested in NYC yesterday because they were allegedly plotting something and were engaged in suspicious (obviously terrorism in this case as nothing else is applicable) activities.]
It is really sad and ironic that the society never pays any attention to those labeled as loners, isolated, weird, and socially awkward when they are alive and when they are struggling to live like an ordinary person. But these “loners” suddenly become the talk of the town and all those who never cared about them and may be even bullied them, suddenly become interested in their lives and their story; yes this sudden interest blossoms when the shit hits the fan!!!
I can bet that Alex Israel “Mr. Lanza’s former classmate” may have hated to even look at him in school and when he was alive. But just like a typical opportunist, all it took was an interview opportunity with CNN and she was mystically and magically interested in sharing the “life and times of Adam Lanza” via Skype from Italy where she is for study abroad program for this semester and will be coming back next week which is this week because this week was next week, last week! She would have shared a lot more but unlike her, CNN was more interested in Mr. Lanza than her travel plans, bra size or other things she would have discussed if given the opportunity.
Imagine that!!! Seriously Israel, seriously? Godddddd!!!
I want to clear one thing here that I am not trying to justify the evil actions of Mr. Lanza or others like him. All I am trying to do here is to protect and speak out for all other children with special needs who had their plates full of challenges, long before this SHE fiasco, which obviously will pileup more “stuff” in their lives. Life of these kids is already extremely hard in schools and the epidemic of bulling is destroying not only these kids but also the “so called” normal (good looking, social butterfly, hunk) ones. Hence the actions of one person will effect the majority, which my friends is another norm in today’s society. Just because of the actions of one person, the societies and groups related to autism, asperger’s syndrome and other mental health illnesses have to explain themselves and that they are not danger to society. Yet again, what I fail to understand is that why a group of people is compelled to or have to explain their illness to society? These people never choose to be the way they are. Like my mother always says, “nobody goes to a market or out of their way to get an illness!” Last Tuesday, some kid in Maryland school was under investigation because his classmates reported him as a threat to them and the school and this my friends is just the beginning.
[Tangent Time: I was thinking last night that what media and people would have been discussing in a scenario where Adam was a son of a gun enthusiast mother and his father’s name was Mohammad Lanza. In this case, medical & mental history would have been thrown out of window and Nancy Lanza would have escalated from the list of victims to the list of suspects. So basically changing someone’s name can turn everything upside down, turning victims into suspects and mentally ill into terrorists. Magical isn’t it!]
Whatever all these evil men did(from Sandy Hook to Virginia Tech, from Oak Creek, Wisconsin to Aurora) can never be justified but there is nothing wrong in researching and learning from these men and their lives to protect the society from similar occurrences ever again. In my humble( this is a nice way to say that I am smarter than you so shut up and listen) opinion and I can say this with utmost certainty that there is nothing more dangerous than two kind of people i.e. someone without hope and someone who does not have anything to lose. In all these incidents of mass killing, we can see an element of hopelessness, isolation and loneliness. The only thing that keeps us (humans) alive is hope, and the only thing that keeps us sane is social interaction of some kind. It is really ironic and sad that everybody becomes suddenly interested about people like Lanza and their violent actions after they suddenly snap and act violently, but nobody pays attention to the reasons that lead to that sudden violence, no body cares about the long and painful story of their lives that was full of loneliness and pain with no hope. The fire of hopelessness and loneliness can have only two outcomes; if this fire turns into rage, it results in events like SHE, and if the fire turns into ashes, it results in a suicide. Cherry on top for the already difficult and troubled lives is the stigma of being weird, geek, loner, autistic, or having other mental illnesses if the word gets out. All my life, I have been close friends with loners, weirdos, etc. and yes these people are different but nice when you come to know them. They are more guarded and reserved because that is their defense mechanism which they learn from their daily life. If we consider social, psychological, mental, and medical variables of these people and their complex equation, they are not much different.
While mourning for the lives lost last Friday, we should not forget that around the world, there are kids just like the Sandy Hook 20, dying every day because of hunger and thirst in Africa, bullets and bombs in Syria, and drones and missiles in Pakistan. Isn’t it ironic that we are surrounded by pain and death, TV and newspapers are reporting it everyday, but sadly we never pay attention until we are awaken by someone like Mr. Lanza. I don’t think anybody can truly understand the pain and lifelong trauma these victim families will have to go through now, but again we should not forget other parents of murdered sons and daughters around the world experiencing the same grief.
It is really comforting (at least for those who have no voice and representation) that pain and death doesn’t discriminates among race, color, social status or your coordinates on the world map. Pain of loosing someone is same for all and that is why this pain should join not only the parents of murdered kids but everyone else around the world in an effort to stop these atrocities.
This incident gives us an opportunity to relate to the pain and suffering of those parents who never got the same media attention, the parents who were not able to share the stories of their loved ones with the world, the parents who are also unaware of the reason behind the death of their sons and daughters, the parents who went through the same pain that the tiny American town is going through today. Not many people care but same pain was felt by the parents of 69 students (ages 7 to 17) in Chenegai, Pakistan when a school was targeted by an American drone on 30th October 2012. Same grief and distress was felt by the families of 319 children in December 2008 when Israel targeted U.N. operated school of al-Fakhura in Gaza. And who cares about Abdulrahman al-Awlaki, a 15 year old “American Citizen” who was droned in Yemen last year.
It is really ironic that the level of pain and grief in all these incidents was the same, but unlike Sandy Hook, for the children of Gaza, Syria, Afghanistan and Pakistan, there were no vigils, no teddy bears, no candles, no cameras, and no tears.
I felt the same pain in March 2012 (which I am feeling for these 20 kids) when 9 kids were slaughtered in sleep by an American soldier in Kandahar, Afghanistan. But my pain was amplified when I saw the comments on CNN pertaining this incident. I am copying some of the comments here so that you can see what I am talking about.
Total Annihilation: We should shoot all 16 of them again just to make sure they drain properly.
Cameron Robb: Job market is growing. Inflation is steady. Consumer spending is up. 16 less Islamic terrorists to worry about. it’s a good start to the week.
Teriander2: Why the hell did he stop? Did he run out of Ammunition?
jacee: He deserves a slap on the wrist, then a pat on the back lol.
someguyz: Same old stuff, he’ll get a medal and 2 days in jail.
Canadian: 16 CATS KILLED AND BURNED BY US SOLDIER probably would have caused more worldwide outrage.
(If you want more you can go to my Facebook notes!)
Same kind of comments can be seen over and over again, all over the internet whenever Muslims face similar kind of tragedy. Death should never be celebrated even if it is your enemy because that is not how Nobel and great people (and nations) act. But just like gold and silver, nobility, grandeur and greatness are rare commodities and almost nonexistent in masses, crowds and sheeple.
Last but not least, I don’t care about gun control, gun out of control, or no gun control, but I think using incidents like these to justify stricter gun control laws is like cutting off penises to prevent rape, blaming the spoon for obesity, bombing the hell out of people to stop terrorism, and impregnating nine women to get a baby in one month. Trust me, a toothpick in the hand of a mad man is more dangerous than an atomic bomb in the hands of a wise one. Those who want to kill the innocent will find both reasons and the resources. So instead of concentrating on improving the laws and reducing the guns, we have to work on improving the families, friendships and relationships. Instead of improving the gun laws, we have to work on improving the person behind the gun, we have to work on the reasons behind extreme hopelessness, loneliness, helplessness, racism and hatred i.e. the main causes behind the extreme and violent behaviour. We will have to rediscover and bring back the lost innocence and happiness that is slowly disappearing from our lives and the lives of our kids. In short, gun laws will never fix the problem, but stronger families, lifelong friendships, eternal relationships, communication, patience, and understanding most certainly will.
Iqbal said:
Yaqeen Mohkam, Amal Peham, Mohabbat Faateh-E-Alam
Jahad-E-Zindagani Mein Hain Ye Mardon Ki Shamsheerain
Firm belief, continuous action, the love that can conquer the world
These are the swords of men in the war and struggle of life
Light Upon Light 